Orwell is not comfortable with the way the British have treated the Burmese. He does not agree with what he represents, but it is his job. Then on top of that, he is made fun of by the Burmese because of what he represents. So he is torn between what he believes is right and moral and wanting to get back at the aggressive Burmese who ridicule him.
He says in the story, "All I knew was that I was stuck between my hatred of the empire I served and my rage against the evil-spirited little beasts who tried to make my job impossible." He understands how the Burmese feel about Britain, yet he hates how they treat him since he represents what they hate.
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